Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Major "Wins and Losses" (Minisode)

This 15-minute clip, available on the Season 5 DVD and via Maxim links the emotional ending of Season 5 with the beginning of Season 6.

We recap how the guys discovered Lem's mangled body. Vic, shaken, announces to Shane and Ronnie, "We're gonna find out who did this. And we're gonna kill 'em."

Cut to Vic in the cemetery watching a backhoe at work: "Nothin' like watchin' a machine dig your best friend's grave." I expect Shane to come back with something along the lines of "I thought I was your best friend", but he has the sense to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he says the loan shark gave them a bogus tip; the suspect was Chilean and didn't know Guardo. The Strike Team is getting help from the Mexican authorities too; Vic just has to be patient.

That's not good enough for Vic. He wants to know who killed Lem. Here's a hint: he's got big teeth and is standing right next to you. Shane pats Vic on the shoulder: "Let's just send him off the right way." Vic toys with a baby doll arm that's been spray-painted gold.

Flashback to two years earlier. Shane's explaining his latest gambling scheme: 10-to-1 odds and side action on the length of the match. Ronnie asks, "Whose bright idea was it to have Mr. GED be in charge of the money?" Shane argues that he busted a Samoan ring and knows a few things about sports gambling. "Great. If I ever need someone to cover the spread on a coconut toss, you're my guy," says Vic.

Inside the clubhouse, Lem is getting ready to arm-wrestle someone. Fun fact: Kenny Johnson is a real-life arm-wrestling champion. Lem's bout against a uniform lasts all of 3 seconds. "You guys need to know that this freak of nature is a sure thing," Shane says proudly. The uniform's partner wants to bet another $100.

Vic knows Lem is still upset about last year's loss to Wilshire. Lem doesn't even care about the money; it's about bringing the department arm-wrestling trophy back to its rightful place in the Barn. Shane makes it rain, then busts out what appear to be clogging moves. The guys laugh and cheer. "That's our boy right there," Lem grins. End flashback.

Back at the cemetery, a news van pulls up. Shane asks, "They think we're burying some war criminal?" Vic is angered by the lack of police presence. Even though Lem was stripped of his badge thanks to Kavanaugh, he was still a cop's cop.

Ronnie knows Guardo can't live without TV and that he "watches it from some restaurant in the 'hood." He's working on getting the address. Another news van has arrived. "You gotta be kidding me," Vic grumbles. He shouts at the reporters, "A man died and his friends and family are here to mourn him! That's all the story you need!"

Undaunted, the female reporter asks if Vic was friends with Curtis Lemansky, who she refers to as a "disgraced detective." Vic pushes the camera away, telling her to have some respect for the dead. Ronnie quietly says that Vic going off is what the reporters want.

Claudette approaches. Vic wants her to have "the vultures" move their vans to make room for the motorcade. She sighs that there won't be one; the department brass has even banned people from coming. The chief's office isn't acknowledging the situation as an officer down, meaning no formal statement or headlines. Maybe it's best that this stay a personal event.

Flashback. The guys play pitch in the clubhouse. Vic does his best Clint Eastwood, asking Lem, "Do you feel lucky...punk?" Edgar-veda, still captain at this point, comes in. He's not impressed by the cards and money. Vic claims they're on a case.

Edgar-veda asks what Vic knows about drug dealer Ollie Turner. Vic exposits Ollie's a small fish, mostly weed and crack; they're waiting for him to clash with the One-Niners over turf. Edgar-veda informs them Ollie is wanted for questioning about a gang shooting in Wilshire. "This guy's barely mastered the art of weighing and measuring. I doubt he's gonna raise his game to capping bangers," says Vic.

The guys figure this has something to do with the captain wanting more publicity and funding. "You want us to grab him up before Wilshire gets their greedy little hands on him," Lem surmises. Vic thinks Edgar-veda wants Wilshire more than the Strike Team does. Edgar-veda sniffs disdainfully about the "unauthorized department arm-wrestling match." Ronnie jokes that Dutch's opponent is Stephen Hawking.

Vic would sure appreciate it if they could host the match someplace other than the Barn's locker room. If the Strike Team gets to Ollie first, Edgar-veda promises, "The whole Barn is your coliseum tonight." That sounds more than fair to them.

They find Ollie's drug corner. Lem parks the van on the sidewalk, gets out, and starts chasing Ollie on foot. The guy doesn't get far before he gets knocked to the ground. Unfortunately for Lem, he lands on his arm and shoulder. Vic asks if he's all right. Lem shakes out his wrist: "I think I just twisted it."

"You think it's all right to rough up my guy?" Vic demands as they cuff the suspect. Ollie claims he didn't touch Lem; it was a bad flying tackle. Shane found $3,000 on Ollie, plus a $2 bill. Ollie explains his mom gave him the bill for luck.

Vic grabs Ollie by the shirt, threatening he'll need that luck if they lose money because Lem is hurt. Lem tells Vic to relax. (Funnily, Lem and Ollie are wearing the same black-and-white flannel shirt). Lem is sure his arm will be okay by tonight; it just has to be iced down. He, Shane, and Vic laugh and start roughhousing. End flashback.

Vic enters the chapel. He takes a set at the front pew between Shane and Ronnie. Obviously, this is a closed-casket affair. A woman I don't recognize stands with her hands on the lid. Corinne tells Mara, "I can't tell you how many late nights I worried this would be me at Vic's funeral." (I kind of wonder why Mr. and Mrs. Vendrell aren't sitting together).

Mara has the same worry. Corinne isn't sure how Vic is holding up; he hasn't been talking much. "Shane hasn't said much either," says Mara. Little does she know, it's for a very different reason.

Shane stands near the casket; we flashback to him slipping a grenade in Lem's car along with the big guy's favorite sandwich. The car explodes. Shane starts with the crocodile tears and fake apologies. Back in the present, Shane leaves the chapel.

Vic approaches the casket and opens the lid. Really now? The undertaker didn't quite manage to repair the worst of the facial damage; instead of a suit, Lem's being buried in his usual jeans and plaid shirt. Vic repeats his promise to find whoever killed Lem and lays the arm-wrestling trophy beside him.

Flashback. The guys are in the Barn parking lot, Lem wearing one of his muscle shirts. Shane tosses him a bag of ice for his shoulder. Griggs, a Wilshire detective, snarks that the Strike Team looks like a "buncha Cub Scouts on their way to the Pinewood Derby." Vic reminds him just who brought in Ollie.

Griggs appreciates the delivery and asks how Lem's arm feels. Lem, a firm believer in never letting anyone see him sweat, replies, "100%." Vic, however, wants to postpone the match a week: "He hurt his wing on the job. What cop can't respect that, especially when the collar benefits both of us?" Griggs does respect Lem, "but business is business." "I told you I'm okay." Lem strides down the hall, "Let's do this."

Lem tosses his ice pack down just before he enters the squadroom. The Barn is packed to the rafters with fellow cops clapping and cheering his name. Even Edgar-veda is watching from the office. Some dissenters from Wilshire boo. Ronnie gives Lem a shoulder massage. Vic jokes, "Well, if you lose, at least no one'll hear about it."

Shane tosses in $3,000 more for the Strike Team, then closes the house to bets. He holds onto Ollie's lucky $2 bill. Griggs has a surprise: Lem's opponent has been replaced with Atticus, a behemoth who has to weigh about 400 pounds. Just for a second, Lem seems to lose some of his confidence.

Vic doesn't remember seeing Atticus at the department picnic. Griggs says Atticus was assigned to Wilshire last week as Tech 4, which seems to mean glorified maintenance man. "He's a freaking ringer," Vic spits. Griggs prefers the term "winner."

The combatants size each other up. Vic asks quietly if Lem is sure he still wants to do this. "He's all meat and no heart," says Lem. At the padded table, the guys jerk each other back and forth until the uniform acting as referee sternly tells them not to move until he says go.

The noise from the crowd intensifies. The uniform/referee lets go of their hands. They stand there a moment. Lem pushes Atticus's arm right down to the table; it's all over. Lem walks away, wincing. Ronnie, Shane, and Vic smile proudly at their friend. The Barns erupts in cheers. Edgar-veda even looks pleased. "Oh man, oh man," Lem groans.

Griggs grudgingly admits it was a good match. But wasn't Lem supposed to be hurt? He still is, actually. Can somebody go find that ice pack? Anyway, Vic advises Griggs not to "bet the farm" on tips from scumbag drug dealers like Ollie.

"Buddy, you had me crappin' my jeans...for two seconds. OH MY GOD!" cries Shane, hugging Lem. Lem manages to smile a little: "You think you can count that cash while Ronnie drives me to the ER?" "You really hurt yourself this morning?" Vic asks concernedly. Lem was just "scammin' the scammer." He knew that Vic wouldn't have let him arm-wrestle if he'd known how bad it was, adding, "I think I ripped somethin'." No shit.

Shane calls him an idiot. To Lem, winning for the team is all that matters; there was no way he could've let them down. Briggs presents Lem with the severed gold doll arm. Lem triumphantly holds it up with his good arm. His coworkers whistle and chant, "Lemonhead! Lemonhead!" Poor old Lem is gonna need that 3,000 bucks to pay the ER bill. End flashback.

"Lemonhead" is still echoing in Vic's mind as he stands over the open grave. Ronnie has gotten a location on Guardo's favorite restaurant. Vic strips off his suit jacket. Never mind changing clothes; they've got an ass to kick.

At the restaurant, Vic grabs the battering ram and sends Ronnie another direction. He breaks down the kitchen door. The guy in the restaurant isn't Guardo. Shane can't watch as Vic tries to beat Guardo's whereabouts out of the suspect. "Someone's coming," warns Ronnie, toting Lem's favorite shotgun.

"Jesus!" cries Dutch when he comes face-to-face with the Strike Team's weapons. "The hell are you guys doing here?" Vic, his head bleeding, explains they got a lead on Guardo. Dutch has a warrant for the place. Vic is glad; that'll cover both their asses.

Dutch inquires about the suspect's many injuries. Vic claims the guy attacked him, so he handled it old-school. "Old-school, as in illegal?" says Dutch. He tells the uniforms to call an ambulance. Vic wants to let the guy go and mutters in his ear, "You tell Guardo there's nowhere left to hide." He tosses the suspect bodily toward the door. End of minisode.

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